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Names Mean Something13.Oct.2002Monday's
child is fair of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace; Wednesday's child
is full of woe, Thursday's child has far to go; Friday's child is loving
and giving, Saturday's child works hard for a living; Bt the child that
is born on the Sabbath day, Is bonny, and blithe, and good, and gay. They didn’t need to go all the way to Africa to find that out. I could have told them. In fact, all they needed to do was watch Dances with Wolves to know that your name defines you. Or I suppose in that case your actions decide your name. I related to the woman who was named Stands With Fist. If names were given out like that in our culture now I’d more than likely end up with something along the lines of Walks With Cellulite or She Who Binges. I mean it would at least tell you more about me than just plain old Pamela. A name should, and according to scientific study, does to some extent have an influence on your personality. That’s why I wasn’t too thrilled when friends asked us to watch their dog Chewy for a week. When Sarah called to ask us if we’d watch her dog when they went to Cancun, I thought she’d called him Huey. Ok, Huey didn’t appear to be a typical doggies’ name, but I was willing to accept it. It was when they arrived to drop off their only child, that I learned my mistake. It was Chewy, not Huey. Chewy is a cross between a Boxer and a Mack Truck with the ability to chew his way through chain link. In the space of a week he managed to escape our dog run, with our dog in tow, no less than five times. Our dog has never gotten out, nor even attempted to get out. Her calm, sensible name is Cassie. Chewy has obviously grown into his name, much to the distress of my flowerbeds and what remains of my lawn and deck. After we handed Chewy back to his suntanned owners, I got to rethinking the names of my children. They’re not bad names per se, but they don’t really tell you anything about the little beings that own them. It was hard to give them names at birth, as I didn’t know too much about their personalities. Now that we’ve had time to get to know each other better, I’m considering having a re-naming ceremony for them. My thirteen-year-old girl has a cute name but it gives you no clue as to who she really is. I have a couple of ideas for her. I’ll let her pick between Wears Too Much Makeup or Refuses To Do Chores. The one I’d prefer to use for her is probably too long; it’s Thinks About Boys WAAAAAAY Too Much. If the name I choose for her could change her personality traits then I’d prefer to call her Doesn’t Date Till She’s Twenty. My eleven-year-old boy also has a nice boyish name that we picked out for him, but again gives you little in the way of information about what he’s like. He too can pick between two names that will give teachers and other’s responsible for him, more of a feel for his personality. The first is Can’t Sit Still and the second is Pees From Trees. (There’s a story there but I won’t go into it now.) My six-year old and three- year -old girls have names that are absolutely adorable. I’d still like to give them secondary names to fit their personalities. My six year old shall be dubbed Screams When Hair Is Brushed, and my three-year-old will be known as Fights Potty Training. As for my husband, I had no hand in the name he’s carried around for 39 years. If the Ashanti are correct and names given to someone influences the traits they acquire then I’m planning on holding a re-naming ceremony for him as well. From now on he will be known as Makes Obscene Amounts of Money. I can dream, can’t I? |
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