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Spooky Season20.October.04There are spooky goings on afoot. Houses are being decorated with colorful signs of the season, masks and costumes are being readied. There is a disturbing, somewhat eerie feel in the wind. Lawns and houses are decorated with gaudy colors and even the television is overrun with commercials touting images of what is to come. You know you’re going on indulge, even though it’s going to make you sick to your stomach in the long run.Personally, the tricks and the treats are what reel me in for this season. The tricks are sometimes so creative that you might miss them entirely if you’re not watching carefully. And the treats, well, that’s another story entirely. You’re either in the mood for it, or you’re not, but there is too much pressure for you to ignore it altogether, especially if you have children. You realize how important it is to them. 'Tis the season and you must vote. What’s amazing to me about this particular election season is the spooky costumes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen more ghoulish, frightening and downright stooooopid (Yes, that’s a word. Ask any person from New Jersey.) masks worn by what were formerly sane people. I won’t mention names here, but even one of the candidates suddenly turned a lovely shade of pumpkin in what was obviously a blatant attempt to garner the little known Squash vote. Polls show that most pumpkins are for him, while butternuts and acorns remain in the undecided categories. So far no one has even tapped the undecided prickly pear and arugula votes. Even teenagers, commonly known for their apathetic attitudes towards all things political and/or adult, are getting into the fright fest. I’ve been afraid of walking into a crowd of teenagers for other reasons, but never for their political views. Who knew they had them? While at a fair recently, a gaggle of teens came bouncing towards us yelling nasty things about our sitting President. At first I thought they were a gang practicing their Westside Story dance moves, but with less rhythm. But no, it was just a group of saggy-pants-wearing-rap-listening-non-pumpkin-colored youths who wanted to impress the crowd with their colorful, albeit shaky, political ponderings. I say shaky only because at one point they appeared to run out of their familiar four-letter word comfort zone and you could almost see actual thoughts passing through their hormone-soaked cerebral cortexes. What to say next? Having been in the woods where wild animals live, I knew exactly what to do. I stood still, not moving, so as to not frighten them. Sudden moves tend to set them off. Waiting for them to say something fresh, new, and meaningful, anything that might impart to me the wisdom of their years, or at the very least see gravity finally have it’s way with those pants that appear to be barely clinging to their bodies. What am I saying? There was no wisdom involved, they were simply doing what teenagers excel at; annoying adults. I’m fairly certain they didn’t even care about what they were saying but were simply spouting things they’d heard at home, albeit with more profanity. At least I can hope that the parents kept the cussing out of political pontifications to their young. I don’t think I’ve ever indulged –nay overindulged, in a season of presidential politics like I have done this year. Like a sponge, I’ve sopped up what the left says, then the right, then the middle, then the Excedrin to help the headache that inevitably comes. While I’ve not donned a frightening costume, nor decorated my yard with signs, I still feel like I’m in the spirit of things. After all, every time I turn on my television I get nauseous, and isn’t that end result of this spooky season to begin with? |
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