nudism for peace

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10.Sep.2003

I wish I were making up the following story, but I’m not. I swear. Have I ever lied to you? Well sure, lots of times, but lets not let that stand in the way of you believing me now. Trust me. This is true.

On September 15, Yoko Ono is going to have people snip off pieces of her clothing until she stands, or sits as the case may be, completely nude for the world to see. Where are my scissors? Quick! Scissors! I mean, quick! Hand me a burlap sack!

Didn’t I just see her naked a couple of decades ago with John Lennon? I think one bout of nudaditity (as Radar once said) is enough to give in the name of uh…whatever her publicist thought would get her in the headlines the quickest.

Yoko says she is doing this for peace. A noble cause to be sure, but do you really think that seeing a naked 70-year-old woman is going to help the peace process?

And that leads me to another question. How come when I worked at a nursing home as a high school student I dreamt every night that I had to iron my body because it was so wrinkled? I only add that little tidbit to show that there might be some unintended consequences to this whole naked-for-peace activity, depending of course, on the age of the activist.

Apparently, someone has decided that taking off everyone’s clothes will help bring about peace in our times. True, it would cut down on that whole concealed-weapon thing, but there would also be that big ohmygosh-what-WAS-that? Thing. I tend to say that a lot, as in ohmygosh! What was that thing? I usually say this as I come across something my children have created as an experiment using duct tape, dog fur, dishwashing liquid and a dollop of some sort of gelatinous substance. I’d prefer to use that phrase only under those circumstances and not for encounters of the nude kind.

Two days before the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain an entire cadre of peace loving modesty-challenged folks ran the streets in the Running of the Nudes. It was like the Running of the Bulls, but there was less gore and more..uh, naked people. Oh, and a whole lot of video cameras.

The organizers of the real Running of the Bulls were so moved by what they saw, they cancelled the Running of the Bulls and moved all those wild hairy beasts to green pastures in the country to live out the rest of their days in peace and tranquility. The nudists weren’t too happy about their ride in those cattle cars, though. Sitting on hay bales au natural lacks a lot in the comfort area.

Ok, that didn’t happen. The Running of the Bulls went on as planned. All that nudity for nothing, except, of course for the video sales to morally challenged individuals. You know who you are. Oh, you watch the videos in an effort to advance peace, do you? Mm hm. Of course you do.

Nudism as a form of peace activism has a grass roots appeal. Why, my children have been doing it for years. Although I’m not clear if they understand that naked bodies equal a desire for peace. All they like is the feel of it, I’m sure. We were so pleased when our last one grew out of her nudist tendencies, especially in public places. It was getting hard to explain the naked fourteen year old at the community pool.

Which leads me to another question. What makes people think we want to see them sans clothing? When you’re young, nudism is natural. You’re a baby, your body is so adorable and un-wrinkled that parents ooh and ahh and go all mushy over their two year old as he/she is toddling through the house. It’s done with such innocence and joy. There is nothing quite as cute as two-year-old buns. When you get older, and hopefully wiser, a natural modesty begins to kick in. Covering your body with clothing seems to feel right and appropriate, so that’s what we do. That’s what we like other people to do. Hear that Yoko?

I’ve heard the phrase, recreational nudity, which to me means something done indoors between a man and wife. There generally aren’t a whole lot of spectators to these events, unless you count our four year old who seems to have an alarm go off in her head every time Daddy even thinks about recreational nudity. This causes her to leave her bed and rush to my side in an obvious attempt to protect me from recreational nudity, bless her heart.

This has nothing at all to do with the whole Get Naked for Peace Movement. I just like to share.

Yoko, listen up. Take it inside. That will give us all some peace.

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Nudism for Peace

10.Sep.2003