The Face of Terrorism

Index

20.January.2006

We have discoverd the face of terrorism and it is us. Me. I mean my blond, blue-eyed six year old. The dangerous one. She has many weapons in her arsenal, and you just never know when she may decide tip the balance of power in her favor during a flight and hijack us all to Disneyland.

As a family we travel to Las Vegas on a yearly basis. We go there for the ~~loose slots~~, ~~comped drinks~~, ~~wild dance parties~~ sun. Hubby's parents live there and they bring us down to visit each summer. We call it our Club Himka, complete with enormous outdoor pool, exceptinoal culinary experiences, and chocolates left on our pillows. My in-laws are wonderful people.

Since driving to Las Vegas in a car with four children would make good fodder for the next Chainsaw Massacre movie, we prefer to fly instead. So fly we did. But before we could fly, we had to run the Security Gauntlet. This is where complete strangers have the legal right to make you disrobe so they can grope you. I'm sure there are those of you out there that have paid for this kind of personal service, but for sheltered housewives such as myself, it can be a bit disconcerting. Especially when they cut your children from the herd.

My baby girl wears a DAFO (an articulatedS brace) on her right foot and leg to help her walk because she has CP. I'll be the first to admit she's dangerous, but how did security know? It must be their crack training and animal instincts. Ashley was pulled aside at the security checkpoint by the guards there. They made her stand in a plexi-glass surrounded annex. I went to go to her and the uniformed guard came after me. I was trying to put my shoes back on so I wasn't moving very fast but you'd have thought I was sprinting.

Security:

Me: (looking around)

Security:

Me: (Looking a bit bewildered)

Security:

Me:

Security:

At this point they got the special cloths to wipe down this ~~obviously dangerous terrorist's~~ my little girl's hands, legs, and feet to check to see if she'd been handling explosives recently.

Thankfully it came away clean. All our parental admonitions to always wear gloves while handling explosives must have paid off. I was so proud.

Index

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Gee that makes me feel so safe that the TSA at Sea-Tac is so vigilant as to cut all the six year olds with CP from the herd and check their bodies and braces for explosives.
Janet H.
Edmonds, WA USA -

Dear infidel, you are obviously on our list. Me? I LIKE the cavity searches. As a member of jihad against drunk drivers, I am to inform you that the grand council of the ayatollah has pronounced intifahdah agaist you and your entire family. Since I do not speak farsi and do not know what the heck that means, we are inviting you over for sheep's eyeballs and bean dip next Saturday. There i will explain the deeper meanings of the Kuran to you and issue you the official Burka of the Jihad agaist drunk drivers. Along with this you will recieve an official handbook containing the sevety thousand don't and five do's of the organization. Be warned! Those who stand agaist us will probably fall due to the fact that we are too skinny to stand up and let you stand against us for too long. The evil of the great satan will be repulsed. Then again most every one else is repulsed at us too. But we shall prevail. We shall rid ourselves of whomever it is that the imams tell us to rid ourselves of. We will adhere strictly to the tenets of Islam and jihad and intafahdah and all those other silly words and will not ever partake of barbeque...hey! Wait a minute! No barbeque? Are you kidding? That's the reason i left Israel after my bar mitzpha... Never mind, Pam. I jsut re-converted back to redneck.
anonymouse
abombadad, iran -

Dear Pamela Well... this time, I can honestly say that **I** wasn't laughing -- but I WAS glad that you were able to find some humor in the whole ****** mess! I am appalled that your daughter had to go through this sort of treatment and that *they* have the authority to wisk a six year old away from her parent and prevent the parent from standing with her... I mean, for crying out loud, in a medical emergency where the child's health is at risk, it takes a court order to allow physicians to proceed without a parent being there and giving permission.... but these "security screeners" are allowed to grope anyone and remove small, innocent children from their parents? Disgusting. I know that this is what our world has come to ever since 9-11 but.... that doesn't mean I have to like it..... Again, cudos to you for being able to find the lighter side of things in this but - let me say with assuredness that you, my dear, must be a far better woman/mother than I for I would not have been able to find an ounce of humor in any of it! Wouldn't it be nice to return to the days when families can go all the way to the gate to see a loved one off and children are seen as innocent and harmless rather than potential explosives carrying terrorists? Hugs to you Lee
Lee Ambrose
FL USA -

In the Name of God, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Dear Pam: Got it this time. Great as always. Your writing always has this sadness and poignancy of being a mother and inevitably suffering so many little and big pains along the way; yet you are able to phrase it in a way to let us all have a laugh about it. I could really feel your pain and confusion about having to be "groped" by strangers, even though you phrased it in such funny terms. And what a sense of panic to have your child "cut from the herd". Thanks for sharing this vignette, with us. In peace Zaynab
Zaynab
Saudi Arabia -

I feel so much safer knowing that the TSA is in control...
Jeri Lynn
Everett, WA USA -

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