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Earthworms11.Jun.2002God made my children cute so I wouldn’t do bodily harm to them. He knew that their antics would test the limits of a saint like Mother Theresa, not to mention a mere mortal Mother such as myself. I’ve learned to deal with stained carpeting, walls covered in tiny handprints and even losing my make-up to a teenage daughter. But the one thing I draw the line at is a bug brought deliberately into my house. I really hate that.No one will admit to putting the live earthworm on my kitchen table today. I know it had to be one of the four children roaming my house. Everyone has denied it and my five year-old even blamed it on the dog. A live earthworm wouldn’t be live after encountering those ferocious fangs. Not for long anyway. I mean, sure, she may have picked it up but would either have chewed on it or spit it out. I highly doubt her spitting abilities would allow her to project it onto the kitchen table. Plus, the poor wiggly thing didn’t have a tooth mark on it. My children have the ability to make me insane, and they make good use of that power. Did one of them think that a live earthworm would make a delightful table centerpiece? After grilling all four offspring and getting denials all around, my five-year-old daughter said she’d get it off the table. She scooped it up in her hands, walked to the front door and flung it as hard as she could. After explaining to her that earthworms can’t fly and throwing them in such a manner probably scared it to death, I realized she was the one that had placed it on my table. I asked her to please not bring any more bugs into the kitchen. She flashed her toothless grin at me, vowing that it would never happen again. Then she skipped away down the hall, long golden hair flying behind her. How could I be angry? She knows she has me right where she wants me. It’s the cute factor, plus the fact that what they do is generally not malicious in nature. It’s simply kid stuff. Placing a live earthworm on my lavender tablecloth must have seemed the right thing to do at the time. What’s a little bug and some dirt after all? It’s not the end of the world. It’s not like I’ve waited nearly thirteen years so I could have a nice tablecloth on my table again It’s a darn good thing she’s as cute as she is. |
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